Many years ago my best friend was dating a girl from the city and he needed someone to take out her younger sister or she could not go. Well I got recruited and that night 40 some years ago I met my wife to be. Ended up we both married these girls, they lasted 19 years and divorced, my wife and I are still at it after 38 years. My sister-in-law gave me an ultimatum at the time of their divorce, if I stayed friends with her ex-husband we were no longer welcome at her house. I have not been to her house since. Her X is still my best friend. SIL comes to my house but I will never set foot in hers.
Today we went to the hill farm, me and my former brother-in-law. He gave me some help setting up for some concrete work I am preparing for. He has just retired from the same prison I work at and I have not spent much time with him since hunting season. We talked about family, hunting, married life, and our housing choices. The prep work went well and we took a long walk in the woods enjoying the way things were coming to life after the winter. After maybe 5 miles of walking we got back to the homestead and I prepared lunch, New York Strip, mushrooms, green beans, and fried Yukon Gold taters, sliced peaches for dessert. All the fresh spring air made this meal go down great!
He told me how lucky I was to have a place as beautiful as the "Hill Farm" and how much he loved spending time there. His home is on 3 acres just outside of a small town on a major highway, very nice older home set off the road a bit. His second wife is not happy, complains of too much togetherness since his retirement and the fact that she is out in Hicksville. Her idea of a great time is Vegas, barrooms, or trendy shopping. Shit he has only been retired since December and she goes on like he has been in her hair for years. My bride has ants in her pants and can hardly wait for me to retire. She is genuinely excited about the "Hill Farm" and loves the plans for the place. I feel fortunate in deed!
On the way back to my friends home we stopped and priced out metal to replace his roof as the need will be soon at hand. As we weighed the variables of shingles, grade, longevity of different materials VS a steel roof I asked him if he planned on staying in this house forever. He said until they take him across the road, there is a graveyard across the road. I then asked him if there is anyplace that he has not lived where he would like to. His answer stuck me. He said, "I would move to a place like we just left, but it will never happen as long as I am married to my wife, she would like to move to the city."
How is it that two people with such different views on how and where to live end up together? If that were me I do not know what I would do. It hurts to see a friend so unhappy.
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2 comments:
I also wonder about most people and their relationships with their spouses. I can only think of 1 other couple who are together and doing what both want to do and they are happy doing it. All of the others that I know are always bitchin about one thing or another...why live so unhappily? I can stand spending any time with most women cause all they do is man bash...a hobby in which I can't fuckin stand.
It really doesn't matter though cause Ol Man is my best friend and there is no one else that I would rather be with at any time (even when he pisses me off), we spend almost every minute together everyday and I wouldn't want it any other way.
I really think that most people 'settle' for a mate and don't really think about what is important to them in life...till it's a bit too late...
Ol Man and I have grown in the same direction in our years together, I see so many others who grow apart.
Oye ol lady I DONT MAN BASH lol.....
I find it strange that people stay together when they obviously dont love or respect each other.... I do have a friend in that situation and she wont leave cos she dont wanna loose the house... well I think she is losing so much more then by staying... and non of it is materialistic, not in my eyes, why do some people put to much into THINGS and not feelings and love and self respect and honour.....
I would truely love to know the feeling of being loved deeply honestly and fully, just once before I die....
x
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